My head hurts from trying to weigh the options and make the right decision. A friend wrote "one thing I know is that there is no wrong answer, no incorrect way to approach something unknown." While I appreciate those words terribly, I still don't want to make the wrong decision; the decision that affects Hardee's life, or his quality of life. Another friend wrote "sometimes we love so much that we lose perspective." I don't want to lose perspective either, though. My head is tired from trying to figure it all out. Thank you, friends, for giving me something to think about.
I did call and schedule an appointment with the medical oncologist in town for tomorrow at noon. I need to know the chemo options. Dr. Vaughan did give me some info on chemo when I saw him last back in Aug., right after Hardee was diagnosed when he referred us to Dr P in So Cal. I read that info again this morning and have some questions. The kick ass of chemo isn't listed on my info, and I want to find out why it isn't an option. There is one listed where you have to wear gloves to handle the pill, and clean up any urine and feces as soon as the dog potties, especially when there are other animals around. That's a little scary that I would be giving that poison to my dog.
Another point to consider is quality of life. Hardee loves to be out there competing, especially running agility and doing water work. He wouldn't be able to do that on chemo, so would he be happy laying around the house, too tired to go out, with other side effects of chemo happening, all for the slim possibility of chemo helping him. It might possibly extend his life a little, but would it be a happy life for Hardee or would it just be selfishness on my part.
Last night I was really leaning towards chemo. Today, I'm not so sure. Hopefully tomorrow I'll know more to base an informed decision on.
One thing I am sure of. It is all about joy and all about Hardee! And for as long as it is in our power, it always will be.
Handsome Hardee
We are a patriotic family!
Face of Courage
Face of courage
Oh boy....sorry to hear no clear-cut options....when Kramer's blood count was "off", I at first didn't let him dive (his favorite) off the dock or side of pool....as it could have caused him to bleed...but he was not happy watching/hearing Lacey having all the fun...so I said, GO FOR IT...and he had a blast and it did not cause him any harm....I decided a happy dog was top of the list....so hard...so hard....acceptance of the illness is the hardest part....
ReplyDeleteOh, Jennie. My heart breaks to read this. Yes. Chemo is poison. There's just no way around that. I have a very clear picture of the first time I watched that red liquid running into my body. You find yourself thinking, "It's not even possible that this is really happening. I must be imaging this nightmare." But your friend is right. There is no wrong decision. There are decisions made through selfish motives and there are decisions made with love. Love is always the path and nobody who knows you and Jim could doubt for a second how much you love Hardee.
ReplyDelete