While Hardee sleeps, I write. HH looks so peaceful and healthy while he rests, and there lies the deceptive aspect of cancer. Our enemy lurks right under our noses (no pun intended), and he strikes with tenacity. This enemy is ferocious, and I scrambled yesterday trying to devise an alternate battle plan. This enemy of mine will NOT take my boy without more fight from me. Though, I fear my enemy is stronger than my plan of attack. Oh how I wish that pure love was enough to be victorious.
Today, HH is tired. He is resting up for his walk this afternoon with his most favorite of little people, Tally. They love each other so much and HH has known her since she was born. Tally is now 3 and old enough to walk the track, instead of being in her stroller. Hardee would diligently walk next to Tally's stroller almost daily when she was younger, guarding her as we walked. And by guarding her, I mean waiting for her to throw some of her snacks out onto the ground for him to get. It was a game they both enjoyed.
Yesterday was a long day. I took HH to the Oncologist at 8am, and we didn't get home until 5:30pm. The wait was agonizing for me, and I didn't get to see HH at all until he was discharged at 5pm. Besides being tired and his back leg swollen and red from the IV and chemo, I haven't seen any adverse signs from the chemo yet. HH gets an anti-nausea med each day for 5 days, and I have meds to fight diarrhea, if that happens. The only other medication that Hardee gets is Tramadol for pain. We'll start him on an anti-inflammatory soon, but we don't want to overwhelm his already taxed immune system just now. I've even stopped his Claritin for his allergies. He goes back in one week for more bloodwork to see how his organs are faring on the chemo.
Each day I will try to find something to do that brings HH some joy and I will try to find some joy in each moment with Hardee, but I find no joy in life. As long as there is breath left in me, it will always be all about Hardee.
Handsome Hardee
We are a patriotic family!
Face of Courage
Face of courage
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