We knew this day was coming, but it is still hard now that it is here. As of today, Hardee is no longer in the top 5 agility PWDs (Portuguese Water Dogs). He has fallen out by 2 points, and there are still more trials to be reported up til the end of June. Points have been reported through June 17th so far.
For those that don't know, agility points are tallied for each year from July 1st through the end of June, and the top 5 dogs are invited to the Agility Invitational in December. Hardee is our first performance dog, so we really didn't know about the standings. We never thought about checking the stats before a friend sent us the standings last December. Back then, Hardee would go back and forth between the 6th and 7th spot. Finally in February, Hardee broke into the top 5 and eventually went to the #4 position. He stayed there fairly consistently until just lately where he dropped to #5, and now to #6.
Last August when we got Hardee's nasal cancer diagnosis, the top 5 wasn't even on our radar, let alone something we thought Hardee could ever attain. We trialed when we could in between Hardee's other performance events that he does, when Hardee felt up to it in between hospitalizations, radiation and chemo and their side effects, and Jim's job that requires him to work some weekends each month. Also, it is hard to have a top agility dog and live in Las Vegas. Except for the 4-5 local trials in Las Vegas each year, we have to travel out of state for trials (CA, AZ, UT) which is at a minimum 600 miles in a weekend, and up to 850 miles if we go to Utah.
What killed Jim and Hardee's chances at the last minute of staying in the top 5 were we had 2 trials cancel on us after entries closed for other trials. One trial canceled the end of May and the other in June. Jim had to work one weekend in June, plus Hardee had a chemo reaction one weekend and was sick. It is what it is, and we can't control it, but I wish the results were different. Hardee and Jim worked so hard despite all the challenges that Hardee was faced with. It would have been nice if they could have stayed in the top 5.
There are many more important things to be disappointed over, and better yet many more important things to be grateful for. Number one on the gratitude list is that we still have our boy, and his quality of life is still pretty good right now. Being invited to the Invitational would have just been an extra perk that we can live without. Who needs extra perks when we still have our boy! It is and always will be all about joy and all about Hardee!
Handsome Hardee
We are a patriotic family!
Face of Courage
Face of courage
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011 - Tough chemo decisions
We have some tough decisions ahead of us concerning chemo. Lately, Hardee has a reaction to chemo each time he receives it every 3 weeks. The reactions aren't bad enough to cause alarm and Hardee still eats and drinks during them, but it is getting harder for me to watch the nausea and some vomiting that Hardee has to endure. During one of the reactions, Hardee even became incontinent. Usually the reaction is only about a 24 hours or less, but still quality of life comes into play.
If we stop chemo, the tumor will surely grow, so stopping chemo is not an easy decision for us. It is like signing the death warrant for our beloved boy. Jim still wants to fight and thinks the benefits of chemo still outweigh the side effects and doesn't think that quality of life has suffered. Jim works out of state quite a bit, so he isn't always here to see everything. I think we should stop chemo, but this is a family decision. Maybe the compromise will be that we give Hardee a couple months off, then maybe only go for chemo every 6 weeks or so.
Hardee has a twitch in his face now. It is almost like he is winching, like he received a sharp pain. The oncologists haven't seen it happen, and the CT scans don't support what I think it is (which is pain) because the tumor hasn't grown. Hardee's doctors think it might be focal motor seizures, but I disagree. I think there is something going on in there, but I don't know what. We are saving our money for an MRI to see if that shows anything different that the CT scan is not picking up. The MRI might also give us more info to be able to make a more informed decision about discontinuing chemo. In the meantime, I filled the script for Gabapentin (Neurontin) that the oncologist prescribed for Hardee in case it is a nerve problem or a seizure, but I have not started him on that drug yet. I've taken that drug previously, and I could barely function, but not everyone has the same reaction that I did.
Hardee nose is draining quite a bit. He's been off antibiotics for 2 weeks today, so I'll start him back on them tonight. I wanted his body to have a little rest before we started the antibiotics again. The drainage doesn't seem to bother him, only us as we chase him around to get the big strings coming from his nose. The antibiotics seem to help with the drainage though. There is less drainage that comes from his nose while on them, and the drainage is more fluid based than mucous based.
It is now Tuesday, July 12. I seem to struggle with getting blog posts posted in a timely manner. I started this blog as a way to let everyone know how Hardee was doing when I couldn't keep up with the emails, but it also became a way for me to keep a record of what is going on with Hardee. As much as I'd like to be able to keep an accurate record of what's happening, I can't. I walk a fine line between writing all that is really happening or glossing over things or not mentioning things at all. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. If I write in detail about what is going on here, people misinterpret it, think Hardee is suffering, and think he should be put down. I know you think it looks so clear from the outside looking in, but you are not living it. You don't know all the details or the hard decisions, and you don't know some of the decisions about the good outweighing the bad. Most you you don't even know Hardee personally. You just read about him and make your judgements. The people that do know Hardee and see him work and perform know differently, and know that his quality of life is good. Through it all, Hardee is a happy, confident dog, enjoying life except for some brief periods of treatment.
Chemo is supposed to be this Monday again, but we are cancelling Hardee's appointment. We're not sure if, or when, we will reschedule that appointment. Water practice is this Thursday (Yay! It's been almost 3 weeks since the last one). Hardee has had some "off" days lately where he doesn't seem to be feeling 100%, and he threw up this morning. We'll still do our long drive down to the lake but let Hardee do what he feels up to doing. The lake always lifts his spirits and brings him joy, though he's not fond of the 600 mile drive that it takes to get there and back in one day. Neither are we!
As always, it is all about joy and all about Hardee. Keep good thoughts for us as we work our way through these tough decisions for our precious boy.
If we stop chemo, the tumor will surely grow, so stopping chemo is not an easy decision for us. It is like signing the death warrant for our beloved boy. Jim still wants to fight and thinks the benefits of chemo still outweigh the side effects and doesn't think that quality of life has suffered. Jim works out of state quite a bit, so he isn't always here to see everything. I think we should stop chemo, but this is a family decision. Maybe the compromise will be that we give Hardee a couple months off, then maybe only go for chemo every 6 weeks or so.
Hardee has a twitch in his face now. It is almost like he is winching, like he received a sharp pain. The oncologists haven't seen it happen, and the CT scans don't support what I think it is (which is pain) because the tumor hasn't grown. Hardee's doctors think it might be focal motor seizures, but I disagree. I think there is something going on in there, but I don't know what. We are saving our money for an MRI to see if that shows anything different that the CT scan is not picking up. The MRI might also give us more info to be able to make a more informed decision about discontinuing chemo. In the meantime, I filled the script for Gabapentin (Neurontin) that the oncologist prescribed for Hardee in case it is a nerve problem or a seizure, but I have not started him on that drug yet. I've taken that drug previously, and I could barely function, but not everyone has the same reaction that I did.
Hardee nose is draining quite a bit. He's been off antibiotics for 2 weeks today, so I'll start him back on them tonight. I wanted his body to have a little rest before we started the antibiotics again. The drainage doesn't seem to bother him, only us as we chase him around to get the big strings coming from his nose. The antibiotics seem to help with the drainage though. There is less drainage that comes from his nose while on them, and the drainage is more fluid based than mucous based.
It is now Tuesday, July 12. I seem to struggle with getting blog posts posted in a timely manner. I started this blog as a way to let everyone know how Hardee was doing when I couldn't keep up with the emails, but it also became a way for me to keep a record of what is going on with Hardee. As much as I'd like to be able to keep an accurate record of what's happening, I can't. I walk a fine line between writing all that is really happening or glossing over things or not mentioning things at all. It shouldn't be this way, but it is. If I write in detail about what is going on here, people misinterpret it, think Hardee is suffering, and think he should be put down. I know you think it looks so clear from the outside looking in, but you are not living it. You don't know all the details or the hard decisions, and you don't know some of the decisions about the good outweighing the bad. Most you you don't even know Hardee personally. You just read about him and make your judgements. The people that do know Hardee and see him work and perform know differently, and know that his quality of life is good. Through it all, Hardee is a happy, confident dog, enjoying life except for some brief periods of treatment.
Chemo is supposed to be this Monday again, but we are cancelling Hardee's appointment. We're not sure if, or when, we will reschedule that appointment. Water practice is this Thursday (Yay! It's been almost 3 weeks since the last one). Hardee has had some "off" days lately where he doesn't seem to be feeling 100%, and he threw up this morning. We'll still do our long drive down to the lake but let Hardee do what he feels up to doing. The lake always lifts his spirits and brings him joy, though he's not fond of the 600 mile drive that it takes to get there and back in one day. Neither are we!
As always, it is all about joy and all about Hardee. Keep good thoughts for us as we work our way through these tough decisions for our precious boy.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Wed., June 22, 2011 - Hardee's first water practice of 2011
After last Thursday's first swim of the season for Hardee in the pool, I got the courage to take Hardee to water practice in So. Cal. The dirty lake water scares me, but Hardee is on antibiotics currently so I'm hoping the antibiotics were protecting him. A friend and her dog drove the 5 hours down with Hardee and I, so the 300 mile drive seemed to go much quicker than normal. This water practice was 2 days in a row, so worth the drive down. Plus, we spent the night so I didn't even have to drive another 300 miles back home in the same day.
Hardee was so excited to be at the lake again, and he really wanted to work. I was surprised by how much he remembered from last summer, and by how quickly he settled into doing his tasks. Hardee missed quite a bit of water practice last summer because of his cancer diagnosis and radiation. Hardee loves the lake, and where he really gets excited is working from the back of the boat. His excited barking in my ear gets annoying very fast, but at the same time, it brings me such joy to see him so happy and so excited to work.
Practice went well both days. Most of both days we worked just from swimming depth and not from the back of the boat. Hardee is working on the courier level for water work. He knows his buoy ball go out, but I need to work on his drop it command so he is quicker dropping the buoy ball in position. I did notice that I need to start working him from both directions instead of sending him out the same way each time.
There is another practice this Saturday but because of an agility trial, we will probably only make it for about an hour of practice. An hour is better than nothing though.
We here it is Friday, July 8th now. I've been very slack about keeping up with the blog lately. There have been some things going on with Hardee that I'll write about later. It is still all about joy and all about Hardee.
Hardee was so excited to be at the lake again, and he really wanted to work. I was surprised by how much he remembered from last summer, and by how quickly he settled into doing his tasks. Hardee missed quite a bit of water practice last summer because of his cancer diagnosis and radiation. Hardee loves the lake, and where he really gets excited is working from the back of the boat. His excited barking in my ear gets annoying very fast, but at the same time, it brings me such joy to see him so happy and so excited to work.
Practice went well both days. Most of both days we worked just from swimming depth and not from the back of the boat. Hardee is working on the courier level for water work. He knows his buoy ball go out, but I need to work on his drop it command so he is quicker dropping the buoy ball in position. I did notice that I need to start working him from both directions instead of sending him out the same way each time.
There is another practice this Saturday but because of an agility trial, we will probably only make it for about an hour of practice. An hour is better than nothing though.
We here it is Friday, July 8th now. I've been very slack about keeping up with the blog lately. There have been some things going on with Hardee that I'll write about later. It is still all about joy and all about Hardee.
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