Wed., Feb. 23, 2011 - Chemo appt....one week late

Hardee had chemo again last Thursday.  One week later than normal, but his blood work looked great.  The chemo that HH got, Carboplatin, was the easier of the 2 that he rotates through, with generally no side effects as long as he gets all his chemo side effect pills.  I stopped his anti-nausea meds today and his anti-diarrheals because by now the side effects should be past.

I haven't written to the blog in awhile and I tried to write on chemo day last week, but I've needed time to digest what Dr. O said to me during our appointment.  A couple statements hit me quite hard.  1. When I quizzed him again about what he thought shrank the tumor, he said he thought it was both the long term effects of radiation and the chemo combined.  He said that radiation was notorious for breaking only one strand of the DNA helix but that the other strand opposite has to be broken too in order to have the full affect.  This means that chemo should have been done in conjunction with radiation, not months afterwards like we did, to have the best chance of working.  Why didn't anyone tell me this before, preferably back in August when we did radiation?  We wouldn't have even tried chemo yet because Dr. P wanted me to wait longer to see if the radiation was going to have any further effect.  If I hadn't pushed like crazy to get it going back in November when the tumor was rapidly growing, I'm not sure when we would have started chemo. 

2) We can never do doxorubicin again.  Because Doxo put Hardee in ICU the last time we gave it, we can never give it again or the consequences can be much worse.  Why I am sad about this is, I asked which chemo Dr O thought was working, and he said the doxo.  I feel like I have no more ammunition to fight the tumor with.  My big gun has been taken away (plus I also lost some other meds to help fight with that I'll write about later).  Yes, I know I still have carboplatin, but that's like shooting a BB gun at this damn tumor.  I brought up the fact about giving the doxo at 25% reduced dosage, like the oncologist who treated HH while he was in ICU here told me.  Dr O said if doxo is not given at it's full dose, it loses it's efficacy and there would be no point in giving it.  I asked him to please let us try it again, that as a paramedic I could keep HH on all the anti-nausea meds through an IV drip, keep fluids pumped into him IV, and he said no.  The anti-nausea meds didn't work for Hardee at all last chemo round, and they tried all of them, through shots and IV drips.  They just had to wait it out and have the affects of the doxo leave Hardee's body, so me taking them home and keeping him on IVs wouldn't work.

Just in case that wasn't enough crappy news, Hardee has an ulcer from the cancer meds he's been on daily at home, mainly the piroxicam and cyclophosphamide (chemo pill).  Because of the ulcer, we've had to stop those meds also.  Now he only gets ulcer meds at home.  I feel, again, like this tumor is getting the better of us.  We still want to fight.....but with what?  What is left to battle with?  I asked about another drug that we can bring in from France, called masitinib,  and because of the ulcer that answer was no, not right now, also.

In a little over 2 weeks, Hardee will be 6 years old.  We are extremely grateful that he is still with us.  We have been battling this nasal tumor for almost 6.5 months now.  We are living in the moment, and currently, Hardee's quality of life is good.  His nose still drains and it is tinged with blood.  He looks horrible right now with the hair loss from chemo.  But, none of this matters because he is here and happy, and we still get to love him and do what brings us all joy.  So, life is good!

I am making plans for Hardee's birthday, March 12th, which include letting him do what he loves, agility.  Hardee's Dad will be out of town working that weekend, so a friend will fill in for Jim to run Hardee.

As usual, it is all about joy and all about Hardee!