Friday, Jan. 28, 2011 - Effects of chemo and tumor growth

Hardee has been suffering the side effects of chemo.  The joy we felt last Thursday when we got the news that Hardee's tumor had shrunk was over-ridden by the fact that he was getting really sick from the chemo.

Chemo was last Thursday afternoon in So Cal, and by Friday morning HH was already showing signs of stomach upset by not wanting to eat.  Once I got all his pills in him, he seemed okay in a couple hours.  This continued off and on through Sunday morning, and we were still in California.  Even with all his anti-nausea pills every 8 hours, later on Sunday morning Hardee started salivating and drooling excessively.  By the time we got him to the emergency vet, he was dehydrated from losing so much fluid through his mouth.  They gave him subcutaneous fluids and a shot of an anti-nausea drug, dolasetron.  After a couple hours, they released him and said he was much better.  He wasn't.  I had them give me a shot of Cerenia, another anti-nausea med, that I could administer later that night.  We had a long trip back to Vegas ahead of us, and I knew it would not be easy on Hardee.

I gave the shot to Hardee when we got home around 11pm.  It did not help, and he was sopping wet from drooling.  He did not want to get out of his crate in the car when we got home.  He wouldn't eat or drink and only wanted to be out back in the cold air.  We could not possibly spend the night out there, so I relented as he got back in his crate in the car in the cold garage and let him stay there.  I covered him up with blankets, propped his head up with towels to absorb the drool and so he would not aspirate, and went inside to get a chair to sit by him.  This is how we spent the night, and Hardee did not sleep once.

Monday morning early I emailed and was on the phone to HH's oncologist in So Cal.  He had me take Hardee directly to the hospital that first diagnosed Hardee's tumor where there is a an oncologist on duty, and they admitted him directly to ICU.  I.V. fluids and continuous anti-nausea drugs did not work, and he was still sick.  The next day we were going to ultrasound his belly to see if we were now dealing with something else (had the cancer spread?), but we decided against it.  All it would give us is possibly more bad news.  It would not change our game plan, so we did not do it.  We can save that money and put it towards his other bills as we are well over $35,000.00 now.  I honestly think it was just the bad side effects of chemo anyway.

HH is home now.  He is finally eating, but not very much, and we have tried everything.  His faves now are jarred baby food, namely beef and gravy, and ham and gravy.  The hard boiled egg that he ate last night, he now turns his nose up at, so I go back to the old stand by of baby food.  It works, and he's home and eating, so I'm happy.  He still has diarrhea, but even today that is getting a little better.

Now back to the tumor growth.  Even though we got the fabulous news last week that his tumor was smaller, it is a short reprieve.  It will regrow.  We don't know if it is the long term effects of radiation that have worked to shrink it a little, or is it the chemo.  Consensus is that it was the long term effects of radiation.  If it was the chemo that worked, the tumor would be smaller.  Because we don't know which had the small effect, we will continue chemo and CT scan again in 2 months.  More chemo treatments will be decided after the next CT scan.  My feeling is that it was the radiation that continued to work a little.

On the bright side, while HH was in the hospital he didn't get any pain pills.  He hasn't had the pain pills for 6 days now and he doesn't seem to be in that much pain, so for now we will forgo the pain pills.  We'll add them back in when needed.  Also while HH was in the hospital, the oncologist on duty here didn't seem to think that Hardee should be on the oral chemo pill that I give daily at home.  She said that it works by blocking blood flow to the tumor, and right now while HH is getting I.V. chemo we want the I.V. chemo to be able to get to the tumor to try and kill it.  I'm confused about that pill now and haven't started Hardee back on it just yet.  I need to research it more and ask his oncologist in So Cal about it because he's the one who had us start it.

We don't know how much more time the tumor shrinkage will give us, but we'll take any extra quality time that we can get with our boy.  I stress the quality time, without pain that we cannot control, and without bleeding that we cannot control.  We love him too much to make him suffer while he waits to go to the rainbow bridge.  That being said, every one's assessment of our situation and of suffering is different.  The word suffering is so subjective.  We are the one's living it, and we know our boy.  Most of you don't even know Hardee personally, and sometimes get the wrong impression about what I write.  Hardee has let us know that he wants to fight on.  He loves life, and we love him.  We will know when it is time.  It won't be easy, but we will know.

Until then, it is all about joy, and all about Hardee.  He is full of joy, as are we to still have him with us.