Tues., Dec. 21, 2010 - Hanging in there

So far, Hardee is hanging in there.  We are still doing the daily chemo (cyclophosphamide) at home, and the IV chemo every 3 weeks.  Two weeks ago, we did carboplatin as his second type of IV chemo.  He handled that chemo better than the first chemo, epirubicin.  The side effect from the carboplatin was diarrhea that turned bloody a week after getting the treatment, but I took HH to the holistic vet and bought some things to treat the diarrhea.  We also got his blood work done while there, and Hardee was NOT neutropenic (low white blood cells) like he was after the epirubicin, so he did not have to have antibiotics again.  Based on the above, I have decided to have carboplatin done again, instead of doxorubicin or epirubicin, for Hardee's next IV chemo.  The only other side effect that I have seen from the chemo is hair loss.  Hardee continues to lose tons of hair each day.  I'd say he has lost over half his hair with quite a few bald spots in progress.

Hardee still sneezes a lot, a symptom of the tumor.  Each sneeze has the potential to set off a bleed, so most of the time I hold my breath with each sneeze waiting to see if his nose bleeds.  Since we had that bad bleed back in November, we haven't had another, thank goodness.  I'll tell you later why I am so anxious about the sneezing.  Hardee still has a lot of discharge from his nose and has post nasal drip.  His right eye still waters, and just within the last couple days, his left eye has started to have a gelatinous discharge.  It seems to me that the tumor is spreading more into the left side of his nasal passage now, but we have not CT scanned for over a month now.

While we were at the holistic vet in town here, I inquired about the dog that was from here also that was diagnosed with a nasal tumor over a month after Hardee that also did Cyber Knife radiation.  I was shocked and saddened to hear that it had passed away a couple weeks ago.  We are on very borrowed time with Hardee.  The holistic vet also told me how Hardee would die.  A bleed would set in that we cannot control, and he will have to be put down.  Though I had suspected that would be the case, no one had the guts to tell me this before, and I am somewhat relieved to know the cause.  This is why I wait anxiously with each sneeze to see the outcome.

On a totally different subject, I have addressed this problem before in my blog but there are still people out there who feel the need to write me privately with their opinions about the treatments Hardee is receiving or what we are letting Hardee do.  For those people that think they know more about my dog than I do or that they know more than Hardee's numerous oncologists do, please feel free NOT to read my blog!!!  At this most horrible time in my life, I am appalled that some people would write the things to me that they do.  I truly do not care whether you agree with me about Hardee's treatments or about his continuing to compete.  Hardee's oncologists have approved it, and it makes Hardee happy.  What can possibly be wrong with that???? 

Hardee has cancer and is dying, but he is not sick.  Except for diarrhea from the chemo that lasts for a couple days that we treat, Hardee is NOT sick.  It is about quality of life with the little time Hardee has left and he loves to run agility and compete.  To quote a friend from about a week ago, "I just had the good fortune to spend the day with Jennie, Jim and Hardee at an Agility Trial in Las Vegas!  Hardee looks fantastic - - if you didn't know the details you would never suspect he has cancer.  Happy, tail wagging, barking and jumping, weaving and teetering - he did it all!  I hope someday if I have cancer,... someone loves me enough to let me keep doing what I love! The three of you are an inspiration!"

Not letting Hardee run agility or compete will NOT extend his life longer.  The tumor grows whether he is doing what he loves or laying around on the sofa.  Hardee is a working dog that loves to work.  He does not do it to please us; he does it because he loves it.  He whines and barks in his crate and is raring to go when he knows Jim is getting ready to run him.  I don't know how to explain it further to you people who write me privately with your opinions, and I shouldn't have to.

We love Hardee with every fiber of our beings.  He is what brings us joy, and he sustains us.  We owe him everything, and try our hardest to give him the best life possible.  We have been truly blessed to have him in our lives, even for this short time.  As long as possible, it is, and will always be, all about Hardee.