Dear Handsome Hardee (HH),
Happy, happy 8th birthday, our sweet boy. We still miss you terribly, and we think of you constantly though you've been gone from us for over 10 months now. We hope your first birthday at the Rainbow bridge was a happy one and that you celebrated with Viva and Jazz by running agility and that Jean was there to watch you run.
Fittingly today, your Lloyd D'Augusta STAR Lifetime Achievement Award trophy arrived that you just won. I wish you could see it. It is beautiful. We are so proud of you and all you accomplished in your short but fabulous life. You will always be amazing in our eyes.
I waffle back and forth, but for now, I am leaving your blog up about your cancer. It has helped many people and their dogs who are fighting nasal cancer. It's a little hard on me to constantly relive your cancer with others, but it is helping people who have no where to turn, like me when I was trying to figure everything out on my own. When they contact me, I am happy to help, though it is through tears, still. Currently, our thoughts are with Marla and her agility dog, Macy, who is fighting nasal cancer also. Keep a watch for Macy to possibly join you soon and show her the agility fields when she arrives. She'll like that, I'm sure.
Your brother, Lickety, turns 6 months old in 2 days, and he is a comfort to us, and we are grateful to have him. We took him tracking today, and we know you would have loved to be there running through the fields after you had completed your track also, Bubs. We bought Lickety something special today which we know you would love too. Keep an eye on our new boy, HH, and guide him when you can.
Besides it being your birthday today, this week is especially hard on your Dad. It is the National Agility Championship (NAC), and once again, you and your Dad qualified for the NAC and are not able to attend. We're sure you're there in spirit though and rooting on all of your friends who are competing at the NAC.
Happy, heroic, handsome Hardee, we will love you and miss you forever. Your absence from our lives is still strong. In our hearts and in our minds, it is still all about joy and all about Hardee. We know you won't mind that we love Lickety too. Look for us, Bubs, and we will find you again.
Love,
Your Mama and Daddy
Handsome Hardee
We are a patriotic family!
Face of Courage
Face of courage
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Friday, August 17, 2012
Thurs., Aug. 16th, 2012 - Without Our Boy
It has been 3 months and 8 days since we lost our boy, Hardee. Life without him is very hard, still.
I found out tonight that a photo I took of Hardee was selected for the Nutmeg Calendar. It was bittersweet news.
We miss HH so much, and we long for joy in our lives again. How we wish that joy could be Hardee.
I found out tonight that a photo I took of Hardee was selected for the Nutmeg Calendar. It was bittersweet news.
We miss HH so much, and we long for joy in our lives again. How we wish that joy could be Hardee.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Wed., June 6, 2012 - Handsome Hardee: 03-12-2005 - 05-08-2012
Over 4 weeks ago on Tuesday evening, May 8th, at 7:45 pm, our world came crashing down as we held our boy and felt his heart stop. Our house is empty. We are numb, and our hearts seem broken forever. Hardee was our boy, our teammate, our sweet little Bubs, our purpose, our everything. We were unashamedly head-over-heels in love with him, and we will miss him forever.
Hardee came to us at almost 11 weeks of age, the cutest little bundle of dark brown and white ever. He stole our hearts instantly. Some will say HH wasn't a real Portuguese Water Dog because he never counter surfed, never ruined anything that wasn't his, or never got into the trash. We say he was perfect and good. Our kitchen trashcan is only 19" tall, has no lid, and Hardee never got into the trash even when left to free range at 1.5 years old while I was working for 10.5 hours straight. He truly was perfect.
Hardee was our first PWD, our first breed champion, our first performance dog. In between Jim's deployments, he and Hardee trained agility to reestablish their bond. At the age of 3, Hardee starting blossoming when he and Jim started competing in agility. Jim and Hardee only had a couple agility trials under them when Jim deployed again. While Jim was gone, Hardee and I competed in obedience, rally and water. When Jim returned, he became our chief track-layer for tracking, and we both certified as Hardee's handler for his therapy work.
Hardee became our purpose and we tried to show him the best life possible. Hardee loved to train and trial, with agility and water being his favorite venues. His enthusiasm for life was undeniable. Hardee rarely barked, but he could not control himself when it came to something he loved doing. So, he barked while running agility. He barked at the lake or pool while waiting for his bumper to be thrown. He barked on the back of the boat, and he barked while giving chase, whether it be another dog he was playing with or chasing his ball to retrieve. Hardee just loved life, and he made the most of it.
Hardee's purpose was many. He became our teacher, and he taught by example. He taught us all things PWD and introduced us to the strange but wonderful world of dog shows, dog trials, and dog sports. He taught us the depth of a dog's world. He taught us to appreciate the tiniest of accomplishments and to be happy throughout it all. He taught us to live in the moment, and to realize what was truly important. He taught us joy even when faced with overwhelming adversity. He taught us to love life and to live life to the fullest even though that life may be short. He taught us perseverance and to keep that fighting spirit until the end. He taught us what a true hero is.
Hardee was a true water dog to the very end, and he had a fabulous last day. He went for a long, slow ride with his Dad around our neighborhood, without his seat belt, going from window to window with his head hanging out. He had delicious treats for lunch. He swam, jumped, barked, and retrieved his favorite bumper in the pool that afternoon. He came to life in the pool, and the cold water helped to slow the hemorrhaging making our decision that much harder. He had his favorite dinner, burger and fries, and ice cream for dessert. Special thanks goes out to our vet friend who came to our house that evening to help us release Hardee from his cancer.
Many people have helped us along our journey with Hardee. Thank you to you all. Not only have you been a source of information and guidance for us, you have also supported us and lifted us up along the way. Also, thank you to all who emailed, texted, tried to call, sent cards and flowers, generously donated money to the Portuguese Water Dog Foundation, sent condolences on Facebook, etc. I will read and answer them all soon. Thank you for your patience and understanding at this time. Your thoughtfulness and generosity is greatly appreciated, and a testament to the wonderful people brought into our lives through our boy.
We loved Hardee deeply, and he is still ingrained in all we do. We find ourselves still looking for him everywhere, thinking about his food and pill times, reaching for him in our sleep, waking and looking to check his nose right away, etc. We find ourselves still spelling many words or using our shortened versions of words or using our hand signals for words, all because of our super smart boy who watched us like a hawk, listened to our every word, understood what we said, and I swear could read our minds.
Farewell and safe harbors, our sweet Bubs. We will love you forever, and we long for the day when we will be together again. Until then, swim, jump, retrieve, bark, and run all the agility you want at the Rainbow Bridge. The yellow contact zone no longer matters there, so we know that will bring you even more joy. May there be no tables in your agility field to slow you down. Your nose is now healed so you can track once again. I hope you find joy in following all the heavenly scents. Look for us and we will find you again.
On winged paws, nasal cancer free, and still perfect - Happy, Heroic, Handsome Hardee
CH MACH2 Vindouro's Built To Withstand VCD2 RAE MXS MJC MXF T2B THD CWD GROM
The top picture was taken at Hardee's last agility trial a couple days before he passed. The picture of Hardee jumping in the pool to retrieve his favorite bumper was taken only 3.5 hours before he left us for the Rainbow Bridge.
Hardee came to us at almost 11 weeks of age, the cutest little bundle of dark brown and white ever. He stole our hearts instantly. Some will say HH wasn't a real Portuguese Water Dog because he never counter surfed, never ruined anything that wasn't his, or never got into the trash. We say he was perfect and good. Our kitchen trashcan is only 19" tall, has no lid, and Hardee never got into the trash even when left to free range at 1.5 years old while I was working for 10.5 hours straight. He truly was perfect.
Hardee was our first PWD, our first breed champion, our first performance dog. In between Jim's deployments, he and Hardee trained agility to reestablish their bond. At the age of 3, Hardee starting blossoming when he and Jim started competing in agility. Jim and Hardee only had a couple agility trials under them when Jim deployed again. While Jim was gone, Hardee and I competed in obedience, rally and water. When Jim returned, he became our chief track-layer for tracking, and we both certified as Hardee's handler for his therapy work.
Hardee became our purpose and we tried to show him the best life possible. Hardee loved to train and trial, with agility and water being his favorite venues. His enthusiasm for life was undeniable. Hardee rarely barked, but he could not control himself when it came to something he loved doing. So, he barked while running agility. He barked at the lake or pool while waiting for his bumper to be thrown. He barked on the back of the boat, and he barked while giving chase, whether it be another dog he was playing with or chasing his ball to retrieve. Hardee just loved life, and he made the most of it.
Hardee's purpose was many. He became our teacher, and he taught by example. He taught us all things PWD and introduced us to the strange but wonderful world of dog shows, dog trials, and dog sports. He taught us the depth of a dog's world. He taught us to appreciate the tiniest of accomplishments and to be happy throughout it all. He taught us to live in the moment, and to realize what was truly important. He taught us joy even when faced with overwhelming adversity. He taught us to love life and to live life to the fullest even though that life may be short. He taught us perseverance and to keep that fighting spirit until the end. He taught us what a true hero is.
Hardee was a true water dog to the very end, and he had a fabulous last day. He went for a long, slow ride with his Dad around our neighborhood, without his seat belt, going from window to window with his head hanging out. He had delicious treats for lunch. He swam, jumped, barked, and retrieved his favorite bumper in the pool that afternoon. He came to life in the pool, and the cold water helped to slow the hemorrhaging making our decision that much harder. He had his favorite dinner, burger and fries, and ice cream for dessert. Special thanks goes out to our vet friend who came to our house that evening to help us release Hardee from his cancer.
Many people have helped us along our journey with Hardee. Thank you to you all. Not only have you been a source of information and guidance for us, you have also supported us and lifted us up along the way. Also, thank you to all who emailed, texted, tried to call, sent cards and flowers, generously donated money to the Portuguese Water Dog Foundation, sent condolences on Facebook, etc. I will read and answer them all soon. Thank you for your patience and understanding at this time. Your thoughtfulness and generosity is greatly appreciated, and a testament to the wonderful people brought into our lives through our boy.
We loved Hardee deeply, and he is still ingrained in all we do. We find ourselves still looking for him everywhere, thinking about his food and pill times, reaching for him in our sleep, waking and looking to check his nose right away, etc. We find ourselves still spelling many words or using our shortened versions of words or using our hand signals for words, all because of our super smart boy who watched us like a hawk, listened to our every word, understood what we said, and I swear could read our minds.
Farewell and safe harbors, our sweet Bubs. We will love you forever, and we long for the day when we will be together again. Until then, swim, jump, retrieve, bark, and run all the agility you want at the Rainbow Bridge. The yellow contact zone no longer matters there, so we know that will bring you even more joy. May there be no tables in your agility field to slow you down. Your nose is now healed so you can track once again. I hope you find joy in following all the heavenly scents. Look for us and we will find you again.
On winged paws, nasal cancer free, and still perfect - Happy, Heroic, Handsome Hardee
CH MACH2 Vindouro's Built To Withstand VCD2 RAE MXS MJC MXF T2B THD CWD GROM
The top picture was taken at Hardee's last agility trial a couple days before he passed. The picture of Hardee jumping in the pool to retrieve his favorite bumper was taken only 3.5 hours before he left us for the Rainbow Bridge.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wed., Apr. 18, 2012 - No more therapy visits
Hardee has been on his new antibiotics for one week now, and they are not working. He smells worse than ever, though the drainage seems to be the same. In talking to the vet today, she has stopped all of Hardee's therapy visits. We don't know what bug we are dealing with, and until we can get it under control (if ever), we need to be careful who we let Hardee come in contact with if they have weakened immune systems. With some of the patients that Hardee visits at the hospice facility having compromised immune systems and Hardee having a very compromised immune system, it is just too risky to continue visits according to the vet.
Though we haven't been to the hospice facility for 1.5 weeks now for visits because of how Hardee smells, we will miss it terribly. I loved seeing the patients' and the staff's smiles light up when they saw Hardee. I loved the way our own smiles would light up when we would arrive at the facility. We will miss visiting with the patients and the people we worked with there. We also had a special home hospice patient that we really enjoyed spending time with, and she just loves dogs and loves Hardee. We will miss her also.
Since Hardee himself is on home hospice, I thought the hospice facility was the perfect fit for Hardee's therapy work. It is where we felt at home, and it gave us an opportunity to take our minds off our own troubles. I am so grateful to Nancy at the hospice facility for giving us a chance to do therapy work there, even though she knew of Hardee's terminal cancer and the associated problems that came along with his condition. Thank you, Nancy, for giving us this opportunity. You are great, and we will miss you most. Hardee loved pulling me to your office after our visits were finished to get his treat from you.
Hardee had a successful weekend in agility last weekend. He loved being back and running again. He can run again this weekend if he feels up to it. As always, it is all about joy and all about Hardee. You know we wouldn't have it any other way
Though we haven't been to the hospice facility for 1.5 weeks now for visits because of how Hardee smells, we will miss it terribly. I loved seeing the patients' and the staff's smiles light up when they saw Hardee. I loved the way our own smiles would light up when we would arrive at the facility. We will miss visiting with the patients and the people we worked with there. We also had a special home hospice patient that we really enjoyed spending time with, and she just loves dogs and loves Hardee. We will miss her also.
Since Hardee himself is on home hospice, I thought the hospice facility was the perfect fit for Hardee's therapy work. It is where we felt at home, and it gave us an opportunity to take our minds off our own troubles. I am so grateful to Nancy at the hospice facility for giving us a chance to do therapy work there, even though she knew of Hardee's terminal cancer and the associated problems that came along with his condition. Thank you, Nancy, for giving us this opportunity. You are great, and we will miss you most. Hardee loved pulling me to your office after our visits were finished to get his treat from you.
Hardee had a successful weekend in agility last weekend. He loved being back and running again. He can run again this weekend if he feels up to it. As always, it is all about joy and all about Hardee. You know we wouldn't have it any other way
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wed., Apr. 11, 2012 - Vet appointment
If these antibiotics don't work to help control the smell coming from Hardee's mouth (where the tumor has busted through the hard palate), we will have to sedate him, get a sample of his nose drainage, and send it off for a culture and sensitivity. The lab will grow what is in his nose and then test for what antibiotic works to kill/control it. Hardee has been on so many antibiotics for so long, we hope there is an antibiotic left that works. We could be dealing with a super bug.
Hardee is still bleeding off and on (mostly on). To control his pain, he gets a pain pill every 4 hours with 2 at bedtime. He's had quite a few reverse sneezing episodes lately that are coming more and more often. He cannot settle when these are happening and has to wander, mostly outside. These can go on for well over half an hour as we follow him around. I have taken to giving him some Valium to help stop the episodes and help him settle down and sleep.
The vet today agreed with me that it is not his time to leave us. She said that every time she has seen him, you would never even know anything was wrong with him. If she didn't already know about his cancer and if she hadn't seen what she did inside his mouth today, she'd have a hard time believing that anything was wrong with him.
Hardee looks great but is a couple pounds over this normal weight, though the vet thought he looked fine. He weighed 50 lbs. today. I thought his weight would come down once we got his thyroid medication at the right dose but that hasn't happened. Could be because we give him whatever he wants because it just doesn't matter anymore.
We are going to SoCal for the first time in 5 weeks for an agility trial this weekend. We are tired of waiting around for Hardee to leave us, and since he hasn't, we've decided to regain some normalcy to our lives and see if he feels up to running. Every time we think the end is close, Hardee rebounds and decides to stick around. We've promised he can run until the end, so if he wants, he can run.
We're still letting the handsome one dictate his path with us. We'll keep him around as long as he wants to stay. We still hope for clarity when the time comes to release him. Until then, we'll make sure it is all about joy and all about Hardee.
Here's some photos of Hardee taken the beginning of March (one with Thompkin, his tortoise). Wishing you all a great weekend!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sun., April 1, 2012 - Happy April Fools Day
I have been away from social media for awhile and my main email is broken, so apologies to those who have tried to reach me that way. If you really need to reach me, you'll have to call or text, or email me at my gmail account. Privately, I'm hearing that I need to update the blog so people know how Hardee is doing. I didn't mean to make others worry. I just need some time away right now to spend with my boy.
Hardee continues to endure. He still eats and drinks with gusto and has quality to his life. He has been bleeding for a month now, except for almost a week reprieve about a week ago. During that week he didn't really bleed, we started to build hope again that the Palladia that we had done in Jan. was somehow working. But, the bleeding started again this past Wed. night, and by Friday, was back full force coming from both sides of his nose. During the week that HH didn't bleed much, we took advantage and did many therapy visits. We also took Hardee back to the park with his favorite little person where he followed her down each and every slide.
The smell coming from Hardee's mouth has been back for numerous weeks now. I've tried quite a few different antibiotics, and the ones that worked previously, don't work anymore. Hardee has been on at least 2 different antibiotics, sometimes 3, since Dec. I've added Clavamox into the mix to see what that does, but I think we'll be trying some antibiotics we haven't tried before. It is always trial and error to see what antibiotics work for awhile, then we start over.
Between the drainage coming from Hardee's nose from the infections, and all the bleeding, I couldn't take his longer hair anymore so Thursday I chopped it all off. I chopped all the hair from his head too, so he looks horrible! They won't even recognize him at the hospice facility where he does therapy. I barely recognize him! When Hardee leaves us for the Rainbow Bridge, I wanted him to go with all his long handsome hair, but it really doesn't matter anymore.
Jim and Hardee missed not attending the National Agility Championship held in Reno, NV this weekend. They've been invited 2 years in a row, but because of Hardee's cancer they have not been able to attend. Hardee did break back into the "top 5" of Portuguese Water Dog in the nation for the Agility Invitational over a month ago. Currently, Hardee is ranked #4. We are still amazed at our fantastic working dog and his will to live while doing what he loves.
Though we wish it was an April Fools joke, we have formulated a plan for when it is time to release Hardee from his cancer with a vet friend. She has been a huge help to us throughout Hardee's cancer, and I do not know what we would have done without her, especially lately. She has our appreciation and our thanks.
Deservedly so, it is still all about joy and all about Hardee. Somethings will never change.
Hardee continues to endure. He still eats and drinks with gusto and has quality to his life. He has been bleeding for a month now, except for almost a week reprieve about a week ago. During that week he didn't really bleed, we started to build hope again that the Palladia that we had done in Jan. was somehow working. But, the bleeding started again this past Wed. night, and by Friday, was back full force coming from both sides of his nose. During the week that HH didn't bleed much, we took advantage and did many therapy visits. We also took Hardee back to the park with his favorite little person where he followed her down each and every slide.
The smell coming from Hardee's mouth has been back for numerous weeks now. I've tried quite a few different antibiotics, and the ones that worked previously, don't work anymore. Hardee has been on at least 2 different antibiotics, sometimes 3, since Dec. I've added Clavamox into the mix to see what that does, but I think we'll be trying some antibiotics we haven't tried before. It is always trial and error to see what antibiotics work for awhile, then we start over.
Between the drainage coming from Hardee's nose from the infections, and all the bleeding, I couldn't take his longer hair anymore so Thursday I chopped it all off. I chopped all the hair from his head too, so he looks horrible! They won't even recognize him at the hospice facility where he does therapy. I barely recognize him! When Hardee leaves us for the Rainbow Bridge, I wanted him to go with all his long handsome hair, but it really doesn't matter anymore.
Jim and Hardee missed not attending the National Agility Championship held in Reno, NV this weekend. They've been invited 2 years in a row, but because of Hardee's cancer they have not been able to attend. Hardee did break back into the "top 5" of Portuguese Water Dog in the nation for the Agility Invitational over a month ago. Currently, Hardee is ranked #4. We are still amazed at our fantastic working dog and his will to live while doing what he loves.
Though we wish it was an April Fools joke, we have formulated a plan for when it is time to release Hardee from his cancer with a vet friend. She has been a huge help to us throughout Hardee's cancer, and I do not know what we would have done without her, especially lately. She has our appreciation and our thanks.
Deservedly so, it is still all about joy and all about Hardee. Somethings will never change.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Sun., Mar. 18, 2012 - Bleeding and hemorrhaging
In between bleeding episodes, Hardee is still doing his therapy visits at the hospice facility, and on Friday, we had our first home visit at a hospice patients house. Hardee visited with her for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Then we went to the in-patient facility where we made our rounds. HH is such a good boy, and everybody loves him. In the words of my friend, what's not to love?
We are approaching the end of this fight for Hardee. Though he eats and drinks with gusto, and is a happy boy still, the blood loss will win in the end.
We have fought so very hard these last 20 months, I hope I know when it is time to let go. Please keep Hardee, and us, in your thoughts for peace and clarity. Until then, we'll still make it all about joy and all about Hardee. You know we wouldn't have it any other way.
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