Friday, Jan. 28, 2011 - Effects of chemo and tumor growth

Hardee has been suffering the side effects of chemo.  The joy we felt last Thursday when we got the news that Hardee's tumor had shrunk was over-ridden by the fact that he was getting really sick from the chemo.

Chemo was last Thursday afternoon in So Cal, and by Friday morning HH was already showing signs of stomach upset by not wanting to eat.  Once I got all his pills in him, he seemed okay in a couple hours.  This continued off and on through Sunday morning, and we were still in California.  Even with all his anti-nausea pills every 8 hours, later on Sunday morning Hardee started salivating and drooling excessively.  By the time we got him to the emergency vet, he was dehydrated from losing so much fluid through his mouth.  They gave him subcutaneous fluids and a shot of an anti-nausea drug, dolasetron.  After a couple hours, they released him and said he was much better.  He wasn't.  I had them give me a shot of Cerenia, another anti-nausea med, that I could administer later that night.  We had a long trip back to Vegas ahead of us, and I knew it would not be easy on Hardee.

I gave the shot to Hardee when we got home around 11pm.  It did not help, and he was sopping wet from drooling.  He did not want to get out of his crate in the car when we got home.  He wouldn't eat or drink and only wanted to be out back in the cold air.  We could not possibly spend the night out there, so I relented as he got back in his crate in the car in the cold garage and let him stay there.  I covered him up with blankets, propped his head up with towels to absorb the drool and so he would not aspirate, and went inside to get a chair to sit by him.  This is how we spent the night, and Hardee did not sleep once.

Monday morning early I emailed and was on the phone to HH's oncologist in So Cal.  He had me take Hardee directly to the hospital that first diagnosed Hardee's tumor where there is a an oncologist on duty, and they admitted him directly to ICU.  I.V. fluids and continuous anti-nausea drugs did not work, and he was still sick.  The next day we were going to ultrasound his belly to see if we were now dealing with something else (had the cancer spread?), but we decided against it.  All it would give us is possibly more bad news.  It would not change our game plan, so we did not do it.  We can save that money and put it towards his other bills as we are well over $35,000.00 now.  I honestly think it was just the bad side effects of chemo anyway.

HH is home now.  He is finally eating, but not very much, and we have tried everything.  His faves now are jarred baby food, namely beef and gravy, and ham and gravy.  The hard boiled egg that he ate last night, he now turns his nose up at, so I go back to the old stand by of baby food.  It works, and he's home and eating, so I'm happy.  He still has diarrhea, but even today that is getting a little better.

Now back to the tumor growth.  Even though we got the fabulous news last week that his tumor was smaller, it is a short reprieve.  It will regrow.  We don't know if it is the long term effects of radiation that have worked to shrink it a little, or is it the chemo.  Consensus is that it was the long term effects of radiation.  If it was the chemo that worked, the tumor would be smaller.  Because we don't know which had the small effect, we will continue chemo and CT scan again in 2 months.  More chemo treatments will be decided after the next CT scan.  My feeling is that it was the radiation that continued to work a little.

On the bright side, while HH was in the hospital he didn't get any pain pills.  He hasn't had the pain pills for 6 days now and he doesn't seem to be in that much pain, so for now we will forgo the pain pills.  We'll add them back in when needed.  Also while HH was in the hospital, the oncologist on duty here didn't seem to think that Hardee should be on the oral chemo pill that I give daily at home.  She said that it works by blocking blood flow to the tumor, and right now while HH is getting I.V. chemo we want the I.V. chemo to be able to get to the tumor to try and kill it.  I'm confused about that pill now and haven't started Hardee back on it just yet.  I need to research it more and ask his oncologist in So Cal about it because he's the one who had us start it.

We don't know how much more time the tumor shrinkage will give us, but we'll take any extra quality time that we can get with our boy.  I stress the quality time, without pain that we cannot control, and without bleeding that we cannot control.  We love him too much to make him suffer while he waits to go to the rainbow bridge.  That being said, every one's assessment of our situation and of suffering is different.  The word suffering is so subjective.  We are the one's living it, and we know our boy.  Most of you don't even know Hardee personally, and sometimes get the wrong impression about what I write.  Hardee has let us know that he wants to fight on.  He loves life, and we love him.  We will know when it is time.  It won't be easy, but we will know.

Until then, it is all about joy, and all about Hardee.  He is full of joy, as are we to still have him with us.

Thurs., Jan. 20th, 2011 - Good news!

The tumor is shrinking!!!!!  I am sobbing tears of joy, and at the same time, doing a happy dance!

HH is getting more chemo as I write.  He's getting the really bad one that he got back in Nov. that I've been putting off doing again because of the bad side effects.  We don't know which chemo drug is doing the trick, so to hedge our bets, we've got to do the bad chemo again.

I cannot express our relief and our immense joy!  And to think we almost lost him back in November.  We are beyond thrilled!!!

It really is all about joy and all about Hardee!

Wed., Jan. 12, 2011 - Happy New Year!

Happy 2011 to all.  So far it has been a good year.  I know it has been less than 2 weeks, but we never know how much time we have so we are making the most of it.  Today is Handsome Hardee's 5 year and 10 month birthday.  Two months ago, we almost didn't make it to here, so we celebrate each month he gets older and is still with us.  It has also been almost exactly 5 months since the dreaded diagnosis.

To catch you up on Hardee, he is doing great right now.  He's had three I.V. chemo treatments and is getting ready for his 4th next week.  Also next week when we go for chemo,  Hardee is getting general anesthesia for another CT scan so we can assess the tumor growth.  It has been 2 months since we did the last scan, and I'd like to know if the chemo is having any affect on the tumor.  HH still gets a daily chemo pill, and I'm hoping the combination of the chemo is helping to shrink the tumor or at least stop the rapid growth that was occurring in November. 

This next round of chemo, I think we'll go back to the chemo that he got the very first time....the one that made him so sick.  We are better prepared to fight the side effects this time and hopefully ward off the effects.  We've done Carboplatin two times in a row now, and we need to go back to the original chemo sometime.  A person on my canine cancer list tried Carboplatin for her dog's nasal tumor and it didn't work at all, so now I am afraid to try it again without trying another chemo first.  We'll do the scan before we do the chemo, so depending on the scan results, we'll decide then on what chemo to use.

Hardee has lost so much hair while on chemo.  It has hit his white areas hard, and he only has small areas of white hair left that are patchy, at best.  Hardee's brown hair seems to be falling out much more evenly.  I'm thinking hard about shaving him down again.  After I got used to the shaved look in September, when I first shaved him down, it didn't look that bad to me.  The sad part is that HH is losing his tail flag.  The tip of his tail is bare where the white part of his flag used to be.

Hardee is his happy, confident self still.  He loves life, and we love him.  His nose still drains quite a bit of goop, that also drains down the back of his throat and gags him often, and is blood tinged.  He still sneezes often, especially when he is up and moving.  I still worry with each sneeze because it can set off a bleed that we might not be able to control.  Two months ago, we didn't think he would make it until now, and now my goal is to have him for his 6th birthday, March 12th.

Keep us, and especially Hardee, in your thoughts and prayers next week for better results from the CT scan on Thurs., Jan 20th.  Add in some special blessings for a friend's dog that has come out of remission for his cancer.  He is young, like Hardee, and such a special boy.  I'll update Hardee's blog when I know something at the end of next week.

Until then, it is all about joy and all about Hardee.  We can't imagine our lives any other way.